"Poetry" My hymn.

 My dear Anxiety, Waking up a morning your presence all over me dressed and undressed, Going straight to the school , Wondering all the wonders, What If my friend is not my friend anymore, What If my school gate is closed and I am too late, What If the red brown car just smash me and I am ded to the ground, What If my crush is absent today, What If I get a panic attack in the mid of my math period, What If I am just lost in the crown in a bus, What If my bones get broken and the nerves war with the muscles and the body is dead, BoooooooooM! I didnt get ready to the school yet and all the wonderings are when ANXIETY has dressed over me, Anxiety here , Anxiety there , Anxiety evrywhere my body, Coldness to shiver , Warm to sweat everything bounded with the rays of anxiety, Neverthless what is happening around me dusk and dawn anxiety rose every morning and setting no where in the line of horizon, A plethoric sense of grief and fear and euphoria evolving around me like Earth on its ax...

 And I was tremendous and intolerable to stop the withering mind from realising my existence in few pieces of reckless emotions. It was a spring feeling that never lost its beauty in its essence every time it came for my retrieval. Yes that's it I am talking of the overdosed , the anxiety , the spoiled honey. Yes ,It is a spoiled honey , My dad always used to preach me telling,"Child, You will meet many people in your life , You would have to sacrifice love and care for the people you meet , Some will grab your love and some would ask for it and there is difference in everytime love meets you, and the solution to maintain its mediocrity is to attract good influences along with you as you will never know the bad essence of people in your near and dear life moments" Yes dad, You are right! When my eardrums first got drummed with this preaching it didn't make noises but now it does, not only the ears but the whole trembling nerves that has with held of all the disappoint...

 Now it has become a dream, It is a dream,It is a dream. You belong to my dreams. You own it. I don't want to see you today neither tomorrow nor never. The heart has ached every autumn and spring, every dusk and dawn, every seconds and minutes and gained only "aches".I have got a lot of words to tell you but everything likely ends up with."I miss you,but I don't want to see you". It will and won't change but the ample of times I have cried in the ache counts for every moment. I believe in the love and its rhythms but more that I believe is in the distance that will ever make me enthralled in your presence that's not really.Every day I have stood aside my windows whining at the sun for it has never brought your presence but just ravelling catastrophic thoughts. Maybe all that will remind me is nothing just pause everything. I will never fail to embrace my mind with your thoughts.PERIOD.

I have to go dear, The borders alarmed, Take your arms, Cuddle our children, Tell them dad has gone a voyage, A voyage as a "Saviour". Remember you are strong, You shall beacon my children, Don't you ever make them, Miss their "Pappa", My children have their bodies, Scythed with the blood of the "Saviour". While the lights have gone, Embrace them, with a lie of my presence, While they come back home, Spun their hearts with a poem, As so a poem, As Father is the "Saviour". You shall teach them pain and vain, the sweetness of the sweat of the pangs and toils, Tell them to quench for pride, Awake them to the calls of the archangels, Inject in my children,the blood of the "Saviour". You are the mother of my children, Tell them the essence of love, Entwine their minds with its aroma. The armour of my battle is them, Though Instill in them the goodness of death as that of the "Saviours". I may one day return, With an oeuvre of l...

 I miss you, Restless would be the hands, When I remember of the day, I will get around you. I know I will meet you, What ravels in my mind every moment, Is every time I look at you, That the time and seconds aren't wiser, Instead the trembling thoughts for the only sight, I can never put into words, How I miss you, Crawling around the red knitted bed sheets, Cuddling the cotton pillows, Few drops of water from eye source, Uttering the word I Hope, I will see you one day. Sometimes I am scared for, I didn't know how long will it take, Or, Will you ever be the same, Or, Will you ever smile the same way, Fraught with the spectrum of, "I don't know, how I feel". I want to come there walk past you for, Every time accidently a pair of eyes will meet, I want to stand there some where alone, So you can ask me If we can go on a ride, Along the breeze of the Marina, Singing my favourite song called "Love". I am still the immature who, Will fear your presence besi...

Blue vibe, sway to the, Absence of your aura, Fused in dreams, Slay intuitions , timid and tenebrous, On a yersteneve, Water and wine, Your sight apart, Dark moon and light stars, Light me up, Towards your grandeur, Smell of wind, A blue zephyr, Lost in my peripheral nerves, Closer a little more, More and a little close r, So that, Smell and colour, Gets blind with you, How can I , Narrate dreams in reality, Ink and paper, A poetry.

 "As we grow we change, as we change we get matured, as we get matured our ambience turns beautiful, as our ambience turns beautiful, we start invading self" The way you precept things gradually changes with time, every time you find sorrows or happiness you are getting back good and well with changes, start to know the truths of the world rather than the lies you have miss leaden to, cry loud at the age of 16 and realize crying was the age of immaturity, heal at the age of 26 realize healing was growth, immaturity and growth is one that gradually transfers you to your era of self love.  

I ran somewhere. "Travelling allows you to become so many different versions of yourself" Being a individual whose heights are limited yet to endeavor the happiness of surroundings, Here I write, On the motional pictures through the windows of the rail where you can just look out to the pulchritude's of the whole journey which is only captured by the reddish brown ball rolling around the eyes aching for the beauty of the globe,What you see is all that is seen through the heart, Put around the headsets and play your favorites and listen to your mind and the speech of your heart what your eyes witness, Woah I am aww-struck to exclaim, "The journey of the windows" There I am where everyone look simple ,don't think so everyone's got the 4g gadget but faces brighter than a 10g, they look at me weird because they think, where am I out of Earth landed here. Surrounded of the essence of greenery and high weathering rock mountains, all these seemed absolutely uni...

A part for Mahabharata, Love for Qur'an, Follow Judaism, Profound feeling for Zoroastrianism, Veneration for Christianity. Taoism is in my blood, And the rest out of love, As I sight the creator, As the mystic ruler above all, On an orb of diverse critters with diverse interpretations for the proprietor, Alive here is he in the depthness of my euphoria and miseries, Is he himself,  Thy seek thy discover. It's a gambling of known for unknown, Known is the disciple or the master, Companion is the unknown, Unseen myth,Call him not God, As he is me,I am him and not angels of sky, In me, Is it why for, I am reflection of him in me. Sages,Saints are sacrificers, Body is yours,Belief is thine, A spectrum of philosophy for theism, Drowning with beliefs Am I, For I didn't know who sculpted me, But my love for thee is immensely finding  destinies, As I still do not know why, All that my body bears is to you. You may take thine soul, Once I have given thee away all my love, Love as I ...

  Are you down? Did something strike on your better mind when you just heard my question? That's true I and you go through something that's a challenge and this challenge is going to make you and me upside down because in the end we will find victory in the shallow pieces of our hard work to achieve our challenge. You are not ordinary neither I am ,but I can be extra ordinary and so can you be, Once you start chasing your destiny ,You got to find no enemies because you are your enemy ,you are your friend and destiny is your only end. What remains behind you is just your path of succeeding ,either leave scars or  wounds on your path of success because  your scars get into fires later. The more the sweat the more the achievement ,The more the stones the more the glitters, The more the darkness the more the happiness. You are going to achieve this alone ,You are going to overcome this all alone. No one's going to pull you except your-self. Remember No one will win over you, ...

  Listening to a sad Beethoven's symphony, Strings of the violin could heal the scar, I'm fine,deeply scar'd with few thoughts scythed from the dead past, Severe battles,wars of violence and blood but not really can I feel as it's all alive in a mind for first and to last, Sometimes few echoes and the next time a wild wail,there I am dying inside a human skull, Everything is bizarre or strange, Even the strings feed my sore blood, Because I, Me is lost in search of the ruler of this mind who is "The Grim Reaper" One shall again take me to the where,there were my skull once remain and rest in knotted pieces of peace, Wreck'd amidst of odd stars and rippling vehemence, Won't get rid of the prison suffering from bygone storms called "Memories" "Metamorphosis" is an art and the reason of living inside a hollow cave of tenebrous slender soul, Vaguely through what am I like dead and alive,why am I melancholic?  Because I don't know to...

 Now when the dawn is dusk, And I am fading away in a spring, To the trembling veins, I shall write an apology to the poignancy of my heart, Oh Heart! Shall you forget, and not forgive. What is why when love met you a thunder, A thunder after a hurricane, So do all as sweet as a daffodil mornings, So sweet So sweet,candy's All candy's were bitter at the intestines, Suffered, All sweet candy's Oh Heart! Shall you forget and not forgive. Not everyone,Love is bizarre,Strange and weird and wild and a slipped tongue of speechlessness, I shall suffer for sacrifices,For a naked soul,For a fragile heart,For a broken thought, A dead love,I shall laugh,Laugh at my suffering,A sour and bitter love, Oh Heart! Shall you forget and not forgive. So I will go for now and never there at your sight,Where I will go ever and feel soothed, You shall never let a bud to scar my memories, I am in a dream,A dream of a beautiful storm dear, You shall go,You shall go,Go for an ever, Oh Heart! Shall y...

So I shall dream today, I shall dream for tomorrow, I shall dream not to repend a yesterday, Dream for, where for no fear, Courage and brave shall fight, Frisson shall fade at the mirror of strength. Arms are not strength,heart is where strength is born and mind is where strength is dead, I feared black yesterday,Loved white tommorow,I love black and white today, Because I shall dream,Not yesterday's black But Tomorrow's white, Time is not holding me, I shall crush time in within the red palm, Nor blame the black,Neither the white. Strong and bold are not the same head of my coin, Me and self are not the same, because you are different, I live with a dream,die with a reality, Gut and instinct aren't my dream's realm. Let's live for us, Few words scythed from my blood, Is placed on veins of my aurto, So shall I beat with my dreams, I shall realize and dream and dream for a better me and world, Dream And Dream And Dream.

I can't write love My blood trembles at the brim of solemn pain to murmur love Veins become tremendous as sand to touch love I can't suffer a love,then that's love. Love when I take a dive in an ocean of wild emotions endlessly breathing at the unnamed soul of being loved, When I can get to the deep of  to the gob of water and hard to breathe is,love When red ants suck my blood and call platelets out and suffer,is love Love thus beats you around enormous times And you shall endeavor deaths several times As so a star is true love that buds the deep of "forelskelse" and down then, Once in a blue moon,your feelings shall go cosmogyral around galaxies endless, And Love is severe,strong a Tornado to wander, Your truths shall wonder. Love that rules a kingdom of your inner soul and the frisson of heart, You shall fear things you can't touch,So is it love You die,you make your soul die over heart,is love Love has no eyes of eyes To take care the h...

There where my tear droplets shall float, Where my heart shall not get ruled by my mind but both be the same heart, I shall defeat over triumphs and sleep over white snow, All dusk and dawn shall be yellow spring, Butterflies shall shelter my fingers, Grasses shall be blue and daffodils shall bloom on blue grasses, Have me sleeping over the Brooks at night staring at an Orion and dream, Nightingale's not to forget to wake me up from the morning coldness of the azure brook bed, Rocks shall climb over forests,bees shall lend some honey, Flowers shall bloom everywhere a tree, and I shall be free, Oasis would be a desert,cactus won't thorn me, Pancakes should hear my hunger call, I shall borrow books from my "brain library", Every afternoon,the animal kingdom shall greet me, My lips should get stretched and the ends remain lifted up, Property of Heaven,I shall never be blind.

From the tendrils I grew up, My mother fed me up all day and night, A beam of light punch me when darkness retrieve, I have hardly seen my daddy who fetched water, I miss my daddy, who is an unseen myth to my eyes, Some days, Some seasons, I fade to palish Brown, Or enhance to turqoise green, My mother was too strong, That she never left the hold, Oh! Mother was too bold, She spreads throughout serving warmth to her buds, Mamma never left me in hunger, Daddy never came to sight though, I love the pearls dropped from dark clouds, So I can help mom mould us together, Once I was told, That dad hid behind red sand, handsome though, I wonder why mom loved dad more than me, He who she has never seen but her origin is still a mystery in his hands, Dad is God to our livelihood, Who holds our breathe, Beautiful are my sister's, Bloom to the beam of yellow light, Who are the light of the mighty, There I am, serene and lost in the beauty of my family .

So for one last time, I want to see you, Feel your breathe; Far away standing. Question my instict, Is it love. No,I don't love. How Can I. Feel fear, overcome feat. I don't want to tear me in your thoughts. I know love, that's no love. I can run far, so I can forget, ain't forgive. I can get into a brain decease And lost forget and forget. Forget Forget Is it easy to. Forget mind isn't forget at heart. You love me, no it's complicated. You care, no it's not deserved. No, I suffer is what no one can. That's ok. Almighty left nothing better. I can go in pain, and leave rest in vain. Is it not love, It is Instinct. Is it instinct

You need not know me. What if I am stupid enough for all these I have done. What if I die with my innocence to make my soul breathe for love. What if I am getting lost and loved the lost globe for you. Oh Baby! I loved you so much that enough and what all am I left with. What if my soul leaves me in vain and all should I crave for is pain. I could not move my tongue to the bitterness my tears goes through. I could not realize nor recreate about what all happened to my soul that only once remained in solace,about how many brown stones I turned to blue, brown and dark. There wasn't any such good happy mediums in my life,as I did love and borne out with my own dark theories. I wish it was love though dark, Oh Baby! I should hate love for love. For all love that went in vain, Oh It's dark for all dark times, Was it really dark? Was it really too dark to love?

And now a quest inside me boiled, For love that was not love,In midst of beliefs Some got hidden some forgiven, Pieces of just some pieces that count more, I lost love,Nope How can I lost that's lost, Did I feel an ached heart asking me sugar, I can't, I can't, I can't satisfy the quench, I failed did I to fill my own quests? Solemn poignancy bounded every piece of my quests, Forgive me for the solace I hid between sombreness, Forgive me for the truth I hid between sweetness of lies, Forgive me for the throbes I give for the soul to exist.

So what's more challenging? Is it being jeoparadised or pranaoid. In guilt's and fault's,I found fear mummurs louder and larger, Through day's and endless night's, Did darkness stayed long or silence of day light? I feared,I crushed,I woebgone,Borne out, So did I need to get bolstered, The war between my own consciences,  The war of being a thought in mind or a throbe in heart, I am lost in every nub of erroneous, Nor could my eyes weep,Neither could my leaves get old, Going through sorts of less bitch,more trauma,who could take the responsibility? I bleed over mind and die over heart, Do not console me,My soul won't rest in few solace, Burn and light and cremate,You could retrieve me good, Wonder what all my nerves holded to resist my soul from leaving my body, You would get lost, As my day's didn't notice that few stars abandoned me from light, As peers and tears had needles of my clock to rotate wider, As and As, the needle so did it give ...

Are we doomed? Teen-ager,are you worried about  Dreams becoming mirages? Lock downed us,Have we missed, The morning alarms, The horns of vehicles, The pizza stuffs, The laughter between day and night, The late night home coming's, I'm worried of how bleak my future would be, Lost 4 solid months,Like it's opaque for me to check what I went through, Wake me up? Am I still sleeping. Failures was better than experiencing lost. I have missed the life between 4 months most. Every day some death and recovery playing around my ear drums. Life puts a line,the line without an arrow? Noice,Noice,Noice.

Today Morning, I had to wake up with my eyes lost in need of few  more sleep, searching for my dad to hug me and for my mom to cuddle around me.There comes the spoilers woke up just few seconds after hearing me laughing around my mother's lap,whose love was selflessly shared among 3 of us. They come here actually( keep it as a secret ) because of jealousness of seeing me cuddle around mamma's lap when they are actually scrolling around the bed cot. "No wonder, that's common" Did you think?  Stop imagining,You know what happens to a  rat standing in the middle of two great rabbits.Its like that for me from lies to tears,from who comes first will be served with all the sweetest and so I am often late.Three is three no matter how much we put the house into a xerox machine you won't get the actual copy.  They don't give me a pen or a pin and they beg when they need my ink or my pink dolly frock.I wonder how lucky it would be when it's onl...